Therapy for Avoidant Attachment

You value independence, self-sufficiency, and control.

You’re cautious. Self-reliant. Protective. Maybe even skeptical — especially when it comes to therapy.

But deep down, you want something to change. Not everything. Just enough to breathe a little easier around other people. Enough to feel closer without losing yourself.

If that sounds like you, you’re in the right place.

Why Avoidant Attachment Is Misunderstood

Avoidant attachment is often mislabeled as indifference, when in reality, it’s a complex and intelligent response to unmet needs and emotional confusion — usually shaped early in life.

If you grew up in an environment where vulnerability wasn’t met with comfort or consistency, you might’ve learned to downplay your emotions, avoid relying on others, and keep people at a safe distance. Not because you don’t care — but because caring felt unsafe.

Now, as an adult, this same strategy can show up in subtle but impactful ways: pulling away when things get too close, overanalyzing emotional conversations, shutting down during conflict, or avoiding needs altogether because it feels easier than risking disappointment.

Avoidant attachment is protective, not defective. It’s your nervous system’s way of keeping you safe. But sometimes the very strategies that helped you survive can start to interfere with the life and relationships you want to build.

Therapy Can Help — On Your Terms

We don’t dive into the deep end right away.

If you’re avoidantly attached, chances are you’re used to people trying to rush you into emotional closeness or "fix" you. That’s not what happens here.

Therapy is a space where you get to move at your pace. It’s a place to slow down, reflect, and begin to notice patterns — not with shame or judgment, but with curiosity and respect.

Together, we’ll start to:

  • Make sense of your past without getting stuck in it
  • Understand how avoidance shows up in your day-to-day life
  • Identify what connection actually means to you (not what it’s supposed to mean)
  • Build skills for communication, boundary setting, and emotional safety — starting with yourself

This isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about becoming more of who you are — with greater clarity, intention, and capacity for connection.

My Experience with Control & Connection

I’ve always been someone who craved freedom — space to think, room to move, the ability to make decisions without pressure or scrutiny. For a long time, I thought that needing control meant I was independent and strong. And to some extent, that was true. But I’ve also come to understand how that need for control was protecting something more tender underneath: fear of being overwhelmed, misunderstood, or trapped in situations where my voice wouldn’t matter.

Working with clients who struggle with connection feels personal because I’ve been there too. Not in the exact same way, of course — everyone’s story is different — but I know what it’s like to be fiercely self-reliant, to feel safer keeping people at arm’s length, and to want connection on my terms… without really knowing what those terms are.

Over the years, through my own therapy, clinical work, and life experiences, I’ve learned that it’s not about giving up control — it’s about redefining it. You can be intentional about your boundaries and still allow closeness. You can be discerning and emotionally available. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

You Deserve a Therapist Who Gets It

I work with adults who’ve spent much of their lives keeping their guard up — not because there’s something wrong with them, but because they’ve had to be careful. Careful about who they trust. Careful about what they show. Careful about what connection might cost.

My clients are often conscientious, capable, and deeply reflective. They’re used to showing up for others, excelling in high-pressure roles, and handling things on their own. But when it comes to their inner world, they often feel unsure — uncertain how to name their needs, how to tolerate emotional closeness, or how to stop second-guessing themselves.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you’re not too far gone. Therapy can help — especially when it’s done at your pace, with someone who understands the push-pull of wanting closeness but needing space.

I work from a trauma-informed, attachment-aware lens that honors your independence, respects your boundaries, and invites you into deeper connection — without pressure or pretense.

Ready to Take the First Step?

You don’t have to commit to therapy right now. Just start by showing up for a conversation.

Book a free 15-minute consultation and let’s talk about what you’re looking for, what’s worked (or hasn’t), and whether this might be a good fit.